SALON | Feb. 10, 1998 W I N N E R S ; Windows Error Messages Haiku
Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
-- David Dixon
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Everything is gone;
Your life's work has been destroyed.
Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?
-- David Carlson
H O N O R A B L E __M E N T I O N S:
I'm sorry, there's -- um --
insufficient -- what's-it-called?
The term eludes me ...
-- Owen Mathews
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
-- Peter Rothman
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Seeing my great fault
Through darkening blue windows
I begin again
-- Chris Walsh
- - - - - - - - - - - -
The code was willing,
It considered your request,
But the chips were weak.
-- Barry L. Brumitt
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Printer not ready.
Could be a fatal error.
Have a pen handy?
-- Pat Davis
- - - - - - - - - - - -
A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
-- David J. Liszewski
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Errors have occurred.
We won't tell you where or why.
Lazy programmers.
-- Charlie Gibbs
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Server's poor response
Not quick enough for browser.
Timed out, plum blossom.
-- Rik Jespersen
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
-- Suzie Wagner
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Login incorrect.
Only perfect spellers may
enter this system.
-- Jason Axley
- - - - - - - - - - -
This site has been moved.
We'd tell you where, but then we'd
have to delete you.
-- Charles Matthews
- - - - - - - - - - - -
wind catches lily
scatt'ring petals to the wind:
segmentation fault
-- Nick Sweeney
- - - - - - - - - - - -
ABORTED effort:
Close all that you have.
You ask way too much.
-- Mike Hagler
- - - - - - - - - - -
First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
so beautifully.
-- Simon Firth
- - - - - - - - - - - -
With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.
-- Howard Korder
- - - - - - - - - - - -
The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao, until
You bring fresh toner.
-- Bill Torcaso
- - - - - - - - - - - -
The Web site you seek
cannot be located but
endless others exist
-- Joy Rothke
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Stay the patient course
Of little worth is your ire
The network is down
-- David Ansel
- - - - - - - - - - - -
A crash reduces
your expensive computer
to a simple stone.
-- James Lopez
- - - - - - - - - - - -
There is a chasm
of carbon and silicon
the software can't bridge
-- Rahul Sonnad
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Yesterday it worked
Today it is not working
Windows is like that
-- Margaret Segall
- - - - - - - - - - - -
To have no errors
Would be life without meaning
No struggle, no joy
-- Brian M. Porter
- - - - - - - - - - - -
You step in the stream,
but the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
-- Cass Whittington
- - - - - - - - - - - -
No keyboard present
Hit F1 to continue
Zen engineering?
-- Jim Griffith
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Hal, open the file
Hal, open the damn file, Hal
open the, please Hal
-- Jennifer Jo Lane
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.
-- Francis Heaney
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.
-- Judy Birmingham
- - - - - - - - - - - -
The ten thousand things
How long do any persist?
Netscape, too, has gone.
-- Jason Willoughby
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Rather than a beep
Or a rude error message,
These words: "File not found."
-- Len Dvorkin
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
-- Ian Hughes