SALON | Feb. 10, 1998 W I N N E R S ; Windows Error Messages Haiku

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

-- David Dixon
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Everything is gone;
Your life's work has been destroyed.
Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?

-- David Carlson

H O N O R A B L E __M E N T I O N S:

I'm sorry, there's -- um --
insufficient -- what's-it-called?
The term eludes me ...

-- Owen Mathews
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Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

-- Peter Rothman
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Seeing my great fault
Through darkening blue windows
I begin again

-- Chris Walsh
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The code was willing,
It considered your request,
But the chips were weak.

-- Barry L. Brumitt
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Printer not ready.
Could be a fatal error.
Have a pen handy?

-- Pat Davis
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A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

-- David J. Liszewski
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Errors have occurred.
We won't tell you where or why.
Lazy programmers.

-- Charlie Gibbs
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Server's poor response
Not quick enough for browser.
Timed out, plum blossom.

-- Rik Jespersen
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Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

-- Suzie Wagner
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Login incorrect.
Only perfect spellers may
enter this system.

-- Jason Axley
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This site has been moved.
We'd tell you where, but then we'd
have to delete you.

-- Charles Matthews
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wind catches lily
scatt'ring petals to the wind:
segmentation fault

-- Nick Sweeney
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ABORTED effort:
Close all that you have.
You ask way too much.

-- Mike Hagler

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First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
so beautifully.

-- Simon Firth
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With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.

-- Howard Korder
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The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao, until
You bring fresh toner.

-- Bill Torcaso
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The Web site you seek
cannot be located but
endless others exist

-- Joy Rothke
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Stay the patient course
Of little worth is your ire
The network is down

-- David Ansel
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A crash reduces
your expensive computer
to a simple stone.

-- James Lopez
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There is a chasm
of carbon and silicon
the software can't bridge

-- Rahul Sonnad
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Yesterday it worked
Today it is not working
Windows is like that

-- Margaret Segall
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To have no errors
Would be life without meaning
No struggle, no joy

-- Brian M. Porter
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You step in the stream,
but the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

-- Cass Whittington
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No keyboard present
Hit F1 to continue
Zen engineering?

-- Jim Griffith
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Hal, open the file
Hal, open the damn file, Hal
open the, please Hal

-- Jennifer Jo Lane
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Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.

-- Francis Heaney
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Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.

-- Judy Birmingham
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The ten thousand things
How long do any persist?
Netscape, too, has gone.

-- Jason Willoughby
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Rather than a beep
Or a rude error message,
These words: "File not found."

-- Len Dvorkin
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Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

-- Ian Hughes