Put in 16 hours at the "Member Desk" at Sam's Club this week end. Unusual items returned this week end: Half a sheet cake. Ordered chocolate, was labeled as chocolate, was custom decorated. But when the customer brought it home and cut it, it was white cake. Ate half of it, then returned the rest for an exchange for similarly priced chocolate cup cakes. (Similar to the price of the whole original cake). I wanted to ask why if they hate white cake so much did they eat half of it first, but I didn't bother. I'm going to quit soon anyway so I guess I don't really care. People returned the usual wrong-sized clothing. One guy returned a gigantic TV and a VCR. He had bought them for his daugher to take to college with her, thinking she'd drive. But she flew and could not take the items with her. So he returned them both for a refund. I spent my whole college career memorizing which first-floor dorm lounges were able to receive which local broadcast channels. My senior year, one campus facility got an actual VCR that students could use, if they could manage to get ahold of an actual video.

Weird items people have returned in the past : The Mosquito Deleto. Everyone bough one. Everyone returned them . They looked like a lantern. You were supposed to light it and leave on a picnic table near by or something and it was supposed to somehow attact mosquitos like the Death Star, and then kill them. The only mosquitos the Mosquito Deleto ever killed were those that just happened to fly in to it because they weren't' watching where they were going . So we got back all these boxes of lanterns that stunk up our corner of the store, smelling like those old Shell No Pest Strips, and also coated with real live dead, decaying mosquitos all over! Another item someone returned was a king sized mattress and box spring. Underneath their original plastic, he insisted that they smelled like fish. I smelled it. I couldn't argue with him!

One of my first days at Sams Club ever, started with a withered up old man coming to our membership desk and asking for an asprin. He was calm and pleasent, but explained he needed an asperin because he was having a heart attack. So my manager at that time ran across the whole store, ripped open a bottle of asperin from our pharmacy area, gave him one, called him an ambulence. He remained calm and pleasent. The ambulence driver told him no, he could not bring with him in the ambulence, the cake he had bought. Then the old guy threw a fit! Then just before we closed, by about 5 minutes, a lady brought a warm garbage bag full of a doughy half-baked home-made pizza. She said her pizza was ruined because the cheese she had bought at Sam's was so "moldy"! She was not impressed by my co worker reminding us all that all cheese is mold. She didn't have the receipt for any of the items she was demanding refunds for. She also demanded to be refunded the price of the other items in her pizza, bought elsewhere, because because she said our chese had spoiled the use of them. Our manager allowed us to refund her some amount he and the customer agreed was fair, but only after listeing to this hag go on for 20 minutes and argue with everyone. Then I had to throw her disgusting garbage bag full of dough and meat and cheese away in a "back dumpster" the location of which no one wanted to tell me exactly! Saddest Item any one has returned to me at Sam's Club? A bag of dog food. The dog had run away and never come back.

Well I've been taking home an extra $400 - $700 a month just to hang around with a bunch of college students, drink frozen coke, take pictures and give people their money back. It will be hard to give up the money!

Today my 8 year old daughter was listening to my husband goof around. I don't even remember what he was doing. In all seriousness she said to me, "I'm surrounded by a WEIRDO!" I didn't argue with her.